 A Year in the World
Book Review
Continued from page 2
Excerpt 2: An English house of horrors
Inside we could
hear the constant vroom, vroom of motorcycles and see the tops of trucks
whizzing by the wall that separated the house from the onslaught. Fascinating how
a house inescapably reflects the owner. At the entrance we were greeted with a
sign in boldface: PROPERLY PARKED? REMEMBER TO PARK ONLY WHERE
DESIGNATED. In the foyer we faced NO BICYCLES,
SCOOTERS, ETC. ARE ALLOWED INSIDE THE HOUSE, OF COURSE. I especially
liked that of course! There were even "no smoking" signs tucked into the
hunting prints that decorated the wall. Inside the cupboards were taped lists:TWENTY
EGG CUPS, SIX WOODEN MATS, TWO TOAST RACKS... My favorite was
PENALTY CHARGES WILL BE LEVIED FOR RUBBISH NOT CLEARED.
Ed pointed out PLEASE DO NOT ALTER THE TIME CONTROLS
and DO NOT MOVE THE FURNITURE and
PLEASE DO NOT STICK ANYTHING ONTO THE WALLS. He opened
the fridge and called me. "I'm fascinated by the mind that created this
instruction: DO NOT PUT SODA CANS IN THE VEGETABLE BINS."
The oh-so-anal admonishments we could ignore, but the traffic
astounded me. I reluctantly walked to the house next door and learned that the
owner was away. "In Tuscany," her daughter (no sign of damage from über-Mama)
said blithely, "and no one ever complained before." Isn't that a well-known
psychological strategy? Quickly pull the rug. Who rents a vacation house on a
highway?
And so we left....
Next page:
Savoring Seville
Excerpted from:
A Year in the World: Journeys of a Passionate Traveller
by Frances Mayes
Book excerpt copyright © 2006
by Frances Mayes. All rights reserved. | |
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